Fireproof your marriage

The best contemporary movie for those who value a strong, and happy marriage.

This is one for the cynics, as well. Highly recommended!

Go see it. No, really. It's well worth it.

Blog break

My wife and I are leaving this morning to go to her parents' house south of Houston (near Clear Lake) to help clear and repair the damage caused by hurricane Ike. They weathered the storm with us, but are anxious to return home to assess the damage.

Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I won't be able to post anything from down there unless the power is restored to the in-laws' house . . . and I'm not half dead from debris clearing and house repair . . .

I hope to be back by Monday, but we'll just have to see about that.

Take care. I'll see ya in a few.

30 years

Thirty years ago today, my lovely wife and I were married. We were young and naive and madly in love . . .

We've had both good times and bad through the years, but the good times have been far more numerous and of longer duration than the bad times.

Our marriage team has gone through much during this time: three academic degrees (between us, plus the equivalent of another one); unemployment; under employment; the poor student years; separation due to war, and to work; two daughters, seven years apart; the deaths of friendships and loved ones; new friendships; the joys of parenthood; happy times; sad times; fun times; and dull times . . .

During that time, our marriage has been blessed by two major influences: our firm determination to make things work, and more importantly, God being a significant part of our marriage.

I, personally, have been blessed by her deep love for me (even when I was unlovable), her fierce loyalty to me (even when my loyalty wavered), her unconditional support for me (even when I thought I was unsupportable), and her tremendous faith in me and my potential (even when I had no faith in myself). All of these things have contributed tremendously toward making these thirty years together happy and successful.

My lovely wife is absolutely wonderful in all of her many roles, and I am humbled and grateful that God has blessed me. of all people, with such an angel.

I pray that I will be blessed with another thirty years of marriage to this amazing woman. A woman whom I love so dearly.

God bless you, honey. I love you.

Happy anniversary.

Happy Father's Day

Father’s Day has been observed for a century, and its inspiration, Mother’s Day, has been celebrated in one form or another since the 16th century. But perhaps these should be combined into a “Children’s Day,” because as any devoted parent can attest, there is no greater responsibility or privilege than parenting, and no greater reward than the blessing of children.

The good news is that there is a resurgence of men who are honoring their wives and children as responsible husbands and fathers. Unfortunately, many men still abdicate their responsibility as fathers.

Marriage is the foundation for the family, which in turn, serves as the foundation for society. In 295 BC, Mencius wrote, “The root of the kingdom is in the state. The root of the state is in the family. The root of the family is in the person of its head.”

Broken marriages lead to broken families, which lead to broken societies. The most successful fathering is rooted in a healthy marriage. Thus, to be good fathers, we must first be good husbands.

Marital infidelity and the consequences for children were a concern for our Founders: John Adams wrote in his diary on 2 June 1778, “The foundation of national morality must be laid in private families... How is it possible that Children can have any just Sense of the sacred Obligations of Morality or Religion if, from their earliest Infancy, they learn their Mothers live in habitual Infidelity to their fathers, and their fathers in as constant Infidelity to their Mothers?”

One of my mentors, Dr. Jim Lee, director of Living Free ministries, writes that the Christian marriage paradigm is built on a foundation of five principles: “First, God is the creator of the marriage relationship; second, heterosexuality is God’s pattern for marriage; third, monogamy is God’s design for marriage; fourth, God’s plan for marriage is for physical and spiritual unity; and fifth, marriage was designed to be permanent.”

When this paradigm is broken, the exemplar for children is broken, and the consequences are staggering. One of the greatest affronts to the Body of Christ, then, is also the most common injury to the family of man—marital infidelity and divorce.

-- Excerpted from You can't outsource fatherhood! by Mark Alexander.

Happy Mother's Day

Mothers were created by God to provide us with a taste of Heaven here on Earth.

To my lovely wife, my wonderful mom, and my super mom-in-law. Thank you so very much. God bless you.

Happy birthday, Dad!

It's peanut butter cup time!

Here's to my dad, a man whom I respect and admire more every day.

Though it has been five years, we all still miss you.

Reflections on marriage

Janice Shaw Crouse shares her thoughts with the reader about why marriage is so important to us as individuals, and as a society.

More and more these days, it seems like the attitude of the younger generation is "Why marriage?" It's a good question, and I think the answer lies in part because the romantic ideal is still that a man and a woman will fall in love, get married, have a family and grow old together.

What is more delightful than seeing the growing oneness of a married couple learning to connect with each other in a dozen different ways? Sometimes it shows up in their humorous exchanges, other times simply in the way they glance at each other; one thing I especially enjoy seeing is when a couple manages to coordinate things despite little being said, a little like dancers or skaters who know each other's moves by heart. Whether married five years or 20, the telltale signs of connectedness sparkle as they share the joys of life or glow warmly in the way they support one another in the hard places. Also, it is gratifying to see the ever-growing sureness of one another as couples deepen in their understanding, affection and acceptance of each other.

Go read the whole thing . . . you won't regret it.

Advent begins today

The Church Year begins with ADVENT, a season of preparation for the Lord’s coming. The season consists of the four Sundays before Christmas. Advent derives from the Latin adventus, which means ‘coming’. The season proclaims the coming of the Christ - whose birth we prepare to celebrate once again, who comes continually in Word and Spirit, and whose return in final victory we anticipate. Each year Advent calls the community of faith to prepare for these comings; historically, the season was marked by fasts for preparation.

The liturgical colour for this season is purple symbolising penitance and preparation.

As we prepare ourselves to celebrate the birth of God's Son, we strive to put aside the busyness and distractions of this physical world in order to focus better on the spiritual world of our Father.

Gratitude

I have so much to be thankful for -- personally, with my family, and with my fellow Americans.

Consider these statistics: The United States of America, with 6% of the world's population, controls 50% of the world's wealth. We are so tremendously blessed here in America.

And yet, the prosperity we enjoy here is nothing compared to God's most wonderful Gift to humanity -- Jesus Christ. God's own Son left his all-powerful, all-omniscient Self to be born in a frail, all-too-human body. I cannot even imagine how difficult, even painful, it must have been for Jesus to go from being omnipotent God, to mortal man.

Why did he do this?

As a gift to you and I. A perfect, all-inclusive, divinely-offered, indescribable Gift. A gift of grace and reconciliation between Creator and created.

2 Corinthians 9:15 sums up my feelings for this day (and every day).

Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Happy 29th, my love

After all of these years, two children, three plus college degrees, countless hours apart on business, bad times, and many more good times . . .

. . . you still take my breath away!

I love you, Honey.

Happy anniversary!

Vacating

We're off to the Houston environs to visit family. I'll probably not be able to blog much as a result ('cause I'll be having too much fun doing family stuff!).

I wish you all a safe and enjoyable Independence Day.

Fatherhood

Yes, this should have been posted yesterday, but I just read it yesterday and didn't have a chance to post it then.

The Patriot Post has an excellent article about the importance of fathers.

I've reprinted it in the extended entry.

“How is it possible that Children can have any just Sense of the sacred Obligations of Morality or Religion if, from their earliest Infancy, they learn their Mothers live in habitual Infidelity to their fathers, and their fathers in as constant Infidelity to their Mothers?” —John Adams

PATRIOT PERSPECTIVE
Fatherhood: Facts and Fiction

“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)

Father’s Day has been observed for about 100 years, and its inspiration was Mother’s Day, which has been celebrated in one form or another since the 16th century.

It has always seemed fitting to me that we honor mothers, but odd that we honor fathers, for as any devoted husband and father can attest, there is no greater responsibility or reward than the blessing of children, no greater privilege than the blessing of fatherhood.

The good news is that there is a resurgence of men who are honoring their wives and children as responsible husbands and fathers. Unfortunately, there are too many men who will never know that reward because they have abdicated their responsibility as fathers.

At the invitation of a national ministry to families, I am writing a guidebook about arrested emotional development (AED)—a condition afflicting adults whose emotional maturity was arrested due to either acute or chronic abuse during their childhood.

After researching this topic, one might reasonably conclude that the most common and severe wounds inflicted upon children are not necessarily physical. Children internalize emotional abuse and rejection—particularly rejection by their family of origin—parental separation or divorce, or dissociation from a chemically dependent or emotionally disabled parent.

In other words, in defiance of adult logic, children believe they are somehow responsible for the harm that came to them, whether it was circumstantial, accidental or intended. In the case of divorce, children often believe they must have caused parental dissolution, or were deserving of it.

Divorce is the most common denominator associated with arrested emotional development in children—and the emotional disabilities that they carry into adulthood.

It is no small irony that divorced parents were, in all likelihood, themselves the child-victims of generational patterns of familial dissociation and dissolution. In this respect, the sins of our fathers are, indeed, visited upon generations that follow.

Marriage is the foundation for the family, which in turn, serves as the foundation for society. In 295 BC, Mencius wrote, “The root of the kingdom is in the state. The root of the state is in the family. The root of the family is in the person of its head.”

Broken marriages lead to broken families, which lead to broken societies. The most successful fathering is rooted in a healthy marriage. Thus, to be good fathers, we must first be good husbands.

Dr. Jim Lee, a pastor and director of Living Free ministries, writes that the Christian marriage paradigm is built on a foundation of five principles: First, God is the creator of the marriage relationship; second, heterosexuality is God’s pattern for marriage; third, monogamy is God’s design for marriage; fourth, God’s plan for marriage is for physical and spiritual unity; and fifth, marriage was designed to be permanent.

When this paradigm is broken, the exemplarity for children is broken, and the consequences are staggering. Consequently, the greatest affront to the Body of Christ is the most common injury to the family of man—marital infidelity and divorce.

Divorce, which typically results in the absence of fathers from their headship role within the family, is the single most significant common denominator among all categories of social and cultural entropy.

“Maturity does not come with age, but with the accepting of responsibility for one’s actions,” writes Dr. Edwin Cole, a fatherhood advocate. “The lack of effective, functioning fathers is the root cause of America’s social, economic and spiritual crises.”

Currently, only one in three children—and only one in five inner-city children—is in a home with a mother and father. Nearly 25 million children live absent or apart from their biological fathers.

“Children who grow up with their fathers do far better—emotionally, educationally, physically, every way we can measure—than children who do not,” notes family researcher David Blankenhorn. “This conclusion holds true even when differences of race, class and income are taken into account. The simple truth is that fathers are irreplaceable in shaping the competence and character of their children... [The absence of fathers] from family life is surely the most socially consequential family trend of our era.”

Indeed it is.

Here are some sobering statistics: According to the Center for Disease Control, Department of Justice, Department of Health and Human Services and the Bureau of the Census, the 30 percent of children who live apart from their fathers will account for 63 percent of teen suicides, 70 percent of juveniles in state-operated institutions, 71 percent of high-school dropouts, 75 percent of children in chemical-abuse centers, 80 percent of rapists, 85 percent of youths in prison, 85 percent of children who exhibit behavioral disorders, and 90 percent of homeless and runaway children. In fact, children born to unwed mothers are ten times more likely to live in poverty as children with fathers in the home.

The causal link between fatherless children and crime is “so strong that controlling for family configuration erases the relationship between race and crime and between low income and crime,” notes social researcher Barbara Dafoe Whitehead. More to the point is the following comment from a counselor at a juvenile-detention facility in California, which has the nation’s highest juvenile-incarceration rate: “[If] you find a gang member who comes from a complete nuclear family, I’d like to meet him... I don’t think that kid exists.”

Concerns about marital infidelity, and the consequences for children, are not new. As Founding Father John Adams wrote in his diary on 2 June 1778, “The foundation of national morality must be laid in private families... How is it possible that Children can have any just Sense of the sacred Obligations of Morality or Religion if, from their earliest Infancy, they learn their Mothers live in habitual Infidelity to their fathers, and their fathers in as constant Infidelity to their Mothers?”

On this Father’s Day, all of us who have been blessed with children should pause not only to count our blessings, but also to commit ourselves to honoring those attendant obligations every day. We should examine the job we are doing as husbands first, then fathers. As my friend, Father Ted Hesburgh, observed early in his pastorate, “The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” Consider then the words of William Shakespeare: “It is a wise father that knows his own child.” And of Homer: “It is a wise child that knows his own father.”

(Note to all those fathers who have been forcibly separated from their children: The call for fathers to honor their obligations, starting with our marriage, does not discount the fact that there are many women who live in constant infidelity to their husbands, women who subordinate the needs of their marriage and family life to their own desires—social relationships and activities, alcohol, media immersion, etc. Predictably, the vast majority of those women are, themselves, the victims of marital dissolution, or dissociation from a chemically dependent or emotionally disabled father.)

Quote of the week
“Our culture needs to replace the idea of the superfluous father with a more compelling understanding of the critical role fathers play in the lives of their children, not just as ‘paychecks’ but as disciplinarians, teachers and moral guides. And fathers must be physically present in the home. They can’t simply show up on the weekends or for pre-arranged ‘quality time’.” —Dr. Wade Horn, National Fatherhood Initiative

On cross-examination
"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years." —Mark Twain

Open query
“Sadly, the tentacles of radical feminist thought are poisoning the image of groups of males in different ways. If you watch a few commercials or sit-coms, you’ll see that dads are sloppy dolts who are always the last to know anything. Where’s the outrage? If you listen to the often foul and violent rap and hip-hop music of today, you’ll hear that young black and Hispanic men are hate-filled, selfish bigots who degrade women for fun. Where’s the outrage? If you’re a father-to-be, your preborn baby can be legally killed without your knowledge, much less your consent. For crying out loud, where is the outrage?” —Rebecca Hagelin

[The Patriot Post (PatriotPost.US)]

Happy Father's Day

To new father, Matt, and veteran dads, Steve and Kerry.

“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)

That's quite a challenge to all of us fathers, isn't it? But God provides the tools to successfully carry out His instructions. Thankfully!

Dance Recital time

The Amgeek family has been extremely busy this month with several different activities that revolve around the Amgeekettes. The annual dance recital is claiming precedence for this weekend, so I will not be blogging for two or three days (except for the Heritage Quotes -- which may be posted later in the day than normal).

The whole family is running on empty, we've been very busy on other labor-intensive school activities (didn't the kids used to do this stuff?), and we will be having out of town guests, to boot, so my time will be furiously spent supporting rehearsals, transportation needs, household duties, replenishment expeditions, entertainment, and the like.

Did I mention that our second car is in the shop?

Happy birthday, Dad!

Once again, I find myself posting a birthday message that I cannot deliver in person.

Please join me today in eating a peanut butter cup in honor of my late Dad -- who would be 79 today, were he alive. He loved peanut butter cups, and this has become a family tradition.

We still miss you, Dad. Happy birthday.

Easter greetings

I and mine, wish you and yours a very blessed Easter as we celebrate the resurrection of our Lord and Savior.

"He is risen!"

Happy birthday, Mom!

She married Dad against her family's wishes and followed him to places all over the world. She raised four children who grew up to be good spouses, parents, and citizens. She delights in family, friends, and volunteer work in her community.

What can I say? She's my Mom.

And I am proud to be her son. I just pray that I can live up to the high standard of self-sacrifice and love that she has demonstrated throughout her life.

Happy birthday, Mom. You are truly a blessing to me, to our extended family, and to so many others.

Thank you for that . . .

Correction

The New York Times recently "reported" (more like "opined") that 51% of American women today do not have husbands. Thomas Sowell begs to differ. In fact, he points out that the New York Times misrepresented the data in order to make that case. (Emphasis added.)

The latest in a long line of New York Times editorials disguised as “news” stories was a recent article suggesting that most American women today do not have husbands. Partly this was based on census data — but much more so on creative definitions.

The Times defined “women” to include females as young as 16 and counted widows, who of course could not be widows unless they had once had a husband. Wives whose husbands were away in the military, or in prison, were also counted among women not living with a husband.

With such creative definitions, it turned out that 51 percent of “women” were not living with a husband. That made it “most” women and created a “news” story suggesting that these women were not married. In reality, only one fourth of women have never married, even when you count girls as young as 16.

Another assault on the institution of marriage. The irony, chilling though it might be, is that if marriage and similar social institutions are successfully done away with, our society will descend into anarchy.

Recommended reading.

Merry Christmas!

As we celebrate the birth of our Lord today, I would like to wish you all a very merry Christmas!

Holiday travel

We are travelling today to be with family for the Thanksgiving weekend. Two families in two cities, two hundred miles apart. On two separate days.

Okay, okay. I got carried away with the twos . . . .

Blogging will probably be light, but I'll be doing some web surfing, so may come up with some things to post on here.

If you are travelling this holiday, I wish you a safe trip.

Sweet sixteen

My oldest daughter, Ana (not her real name, but close enough), turns sixteen today. I still remember the evening she was born. . .

It was by C-section, and my lovely wife, after 12 hours of labor, was pretty much in a daze when the doctor pulled this slippery, blood-covered, little baby out of the incision in her belly. The baby looked around wildly and started to cry -- letting the world know that she was NOT happy with her new situation.

At the sound of my voice.

I missed a lot of her early childhood thanks to my job but, when she was six or seven, was able to take a different position with the same company that required a lot less travel. And I am so glad I did.

We've had our ups and downs, but they were mostly ups -- and, all the while, she continued to grow physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually.

Now our firstborn is sixteen. She is still a beauty, she dances with beauty and grace and loves to play the piano, she has a wonderful sense of humor (she still laughs at her daddy's jokes), she is whip smart, is a great big sister, is quite mature for her age, she is friendly and caring, has a big heart like her mother, and has a close relationship with God.

How could I be so blessed?

I love you, Ana. You are growing into an amazing young woman. One who I am very proud of. I am so glad to be able to see you growing up, and am looking forward to seeing you continue to grow into what God has planned for you.

And I am so blessed to be your dad.

Happy birthday, Punkin' . . .

Anniversary

Today is the 50th anniversary of my Mom and Dad's wedding.

Sadly, Dad is not here with us to celebrate.

Mom and Dad had a good, solid, loving marriage. A marriage that provided a loving, nurturing, secure environment for raising their four children.

Their marriage was a blessing to all six of us.

Thank you, Mom and Dad.

I wish we could all celebrate this anniversary together.

We still miss you, Dad.

Happy Birthday, Beautiful!

I am not good at expressing my feelings in this manner, but I'd like to take a shot at describing this wonderful woman from my perpective.

We met in the spring of 1975. I was a senior in high school and she was a sophomore. She was different from any other girl I had ever been attracted to, but she drew me like a moth to a flame. I was attracted on many different levels: physically, of course, but intellectually and spiritually, as well. And I couldn't stay away from her. She had me wrapped around her little finger right from the start -- and though she was well aware of that fact, she never, ever took advantage of it. And we became the best of friends early on in our relationship.

Our courtship was a long one by some standards -- we dated three and a half years before we married. And it was wonderful to finally be living with my best friend.

We actually got a lot accomplished in the twelve years BC (Before Children). We achieved academic and professional goals that I never thought possible. (She brings the best out in me, and I am so very grateful for that.) Just as importantly though, our love, and our friendship, grew deeper during those years.

When our first daughter was born, our lives changed drastically (as any parents reading this know). This happened at the beginning of a period of several years where I was travelling extensively on business. Frankly, all of the travel damaged our relationship -- our friendship was not as intimate and open as it had been. And neither one of us liked that fact, but we soldiered on.

Then, seven years and a few months after our firstborn joined the family, our seond daughter was born. (The delay had a lot to do with me getting over the shock of our first girl -- twelve years of wedded bliss as a footloose and fancy free couple, then suddenly baby makes three.) And about the time our second daughter turned three, my lady love and I rediscovered each other. We became closer best friends. Our relationship deepened . . . and I found myself falling more deeply in love with her. I will do anything for her. And she knows it. And she has never, ever taken advantage of that fact.

---
Another year has gone by, my love, yet you are still the woman of my dreams. You are a wonderful mother, wife, teacher, and friend. I love your laughter, your intellect, and your loyalty. I love your spirituality. You are kind and loving, practical and whimsical, tolerant of my silliness, and more alluring to me now than you have ever been before.

Happy Birthday, Honey.

Modesty becomes her

Clinical psychologist Patricia Dalton has a well thought out essay about preserving our daughters' modesty. And there are compelling reasons to do that.

Without that leadership, kids have trouble recognizing lines of propriety. Boys don't know where the line is and where to stop; and girls -- or gurrrrrrrrls, as the new terminology puts it -- who have become accustomed to their deliberately outr[e] styles of dress, are displaying increasingly aggressive sexual behavior.

As the father of two daughters (one a teenager), I can definitely relate to what is described in this column. My Lady and I are considered very strict parents by many of our contemporaries. After reading this, I don't feel very bad about that. We just pray every single day for direction in raising our precious girls.

Go read the whole thing. It is well worth your time.

Happy 28th, my Love!

Twenty-eight years ago today -- on Saturday, August 5, 1978 -- I married my best friend.

Things were crazy then. We had been dating for over 3 years and had been engaged for a year. We were both young. My family had just moved back to Houston from Pennsylvania. My first college career had reached its nadir and I had moved on to working in industrial construction. My Lady had reached a crossroads in her academic career and was uncertain how to continue.

Yet with all of those uncertainties in our lives we were certain of one thing: that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. We wanted to face whatever life would bring us as a team.

I'm sure several of our more mature friends and family members had reservations about us marrying. I was a bit scared myself. This was a tremendous commitment for the remainder of our lives. And yet, everytime I looked into my Lady's eyes, I saw her commitment to us and her resolve to make it work no matter what. And I saw her love for me.

That was 28 years ago. Our first year of marriage was the worst one -- they've been getting better every year since. Both sets of our parents helped out occasionally, as parents do, and we are grateful for them. Our Lord has played a large part in our lives and has blessed us so wonderfully. We managed to earn three college degrees and a couple of professional certifications between us. We are raising two wonderful daughters, one is 15 and the other is 8. We both have fufilling careers as professionals, and as parents.

And when I look into the now-wiser eyes of my beautiful best friend, I still see her commitment and resolve. And her steady love for me.

We laugh and cry together. We agonize over and delight in raising our girls together. We worship and serve together in our church. We shop for groceries together, and cook together. We even shower together (to conserve water, of course).

We do as much together as we can, my best friend and I.

Honey, I love you more now than I have ever loved you before. You are a wonderful mother to our girls, a good daughter, a dedicated educator, a devoted wife, a kind and giving Christian. And a magnificent friend.

For some mysterious reason, God thought enough of me to bless me with you. And I am eternally grateful.

Happy anniversary, my love! It has been a wild and wonderful ride with you through the years. I look forward to many, many more.

It's very special being married to my best friend.

I am humbled and honored by your love.

And I return it without reservation.

Forever.

I love you, Babe.

-- Dave

Love and marriage

Lawrence Henry has a good article up at The American Spectator about the secret of staying married.

THIS STORY CAME TO MIND because, while we were cleaning up dinner leavings the other night, I heard my wife explaining to our son Bud what the secret was of having a good marriage.

"You have to learn how to say, 'Yes, dear,'" she said.

New paint scheme for the living room? "Yes, dear." "I think I'd like to take up fly fishing"? "Yes, dear." Dave Barry wrote a whole column about his wife's forbearance when he decided to take up electric guitar in mid-life. Archie Bunker made a joke out of Edith's going through menopause, but, if you stay married long enough through the appropriate age, you will find out it's no joke.

As it turns out, unsurprisingly, the secret is putting your spouse's wants and needs before your own. A time-proven principle, among many, that can be found in the all-time world-wide bestselling book -- the Bible.

Never forget

Gerard Van der Leun has a moving essay posted about his family's sacrifice to freedom during WWII. An uncle he never knew -- who's name he carries proudly.

Remembering these long ago moments now as we linger on the cusp of the Long War, I still cannot claim to understand the deep sense of duty and the strong feeling of honor that drove men like the uncle I've never known to sacrifice themselves. Lately though, as we move deeper into the Fourth World War, I think that, at last, I can somehow dimly see the outlines of what it was. And that, for now, will have to do.

Highly recommended.

Coffee addiction

My brother, who is 11 years younger and quite a bit brighter than I, has started his own blog!

He has commented on this blog occasionally -- adding insight and, generally, a dissenting opinion, to a few of my more politically-oriented posts.

I thought he had stopped reading my blog because, until this week, he hasn't commented here in a very long time. Truth be told, I have missed his presence here -- he helps keep me from becoming too cynical about things in the news. And he also is ready to point out any faulty arguments that I pose.

We live a thousand miles apart and have very different and busy lives -- both professional and personal -- so we don't get in touch nearly enough. But that does not detract from the genuine love and respect I have for him.

As a footnote, I have always considered myself an independent politically. Though the last decade, or so, I have been voting Republican (at least in national elections), I have voted for Democrats and independents, as well. In fact, in the very first election I was eligible to vote in, I voted for Jimmy Carter. (Please forgive me.) The point I'm trying to make is, thanks to my brother, I now know how to describe myself:

My brother is an avid, well-informed blogger, with, what I would call a rightward slant and shades of libertarianism.

I may take exception to the "well-informed" part (I do appreciate the kind description, though!), but upon reflection, I think he has done a good job of characterizing my political inclinations.

And finally, to change the subject somewhat, I really think his blog would be an ideal candidate for the 101st Fighting Keyboardists, don't you?

Welcome to the blogosphere, Matt!

Happy birthday, Dad!

Another peanut butter cup day in your honor.

I still miss your steadying presence.

Don't get me wrong -- we're all doing well without you. But, if given the choice, we'd rather be doing well with you.

Have a blessed Easter

As Christ conquered death on that first Easter over 2000 years ago, he provided all of humanity with the way to make our lives new through Him.

On this most holy of days in the Christian faith, I would like to wish you and your family a most blessed Easter.

3 years ago today

And I still miss my Dad.

I remember when I was around 12 or 13, Dad gave me the "birds and bees" talk. We were sitting in the car waitng for my younger brother to finish up football practice, and Dad started talking.

I don't remember too much of what he actually said, but I do remember thinking that what he was saying was incredibly important.

You see, by then I thought I already knew about the biological aspects of a relationship between a man and a woman. Of course, I really didn't have much of a clue, but at least I was confident in my naivete.

The problem was . . . after Dad finished explaining the birds and bees to me -- in that elliptical way he used for discussing private things like intimacy -- I was more confused than I had been before.

It has taken me a while to understand what I really learned during that talk. Dad did not do a very good job explaining to me how babies were made that evening in the car. What he really conveyed was his innate sense of honor and decency. His noble character.

At the time I was too immature to recognize and learn from that. But now, looking back, I pray that I can live up to his exemplar.

Dad is no longer with us physically, but his legacy endures.

And life goes on.

Marriage quiz (with answer key)

Maggie Gallagher, author and president of the Institute for Marriage and Public Policy has a pop quiz about marriage. And then she reveals the answers. Talk about instant gratification!

But seriously, you may find some of the answers surprising . . .

Little Phoenix

Go check out the pictures of Phoenix's new baby daughter that she posted on the 25th . . . She's a cutie!

Mary had a little Lamb . . .

An old poem with a new twist that is very appropriate for the Christmas season.

Mary had a little Lamb,
He was born on Christmas day.
She laid him in a manger bed
To Sleep upon the hay.

Angels filled the night-time sky
And they began to sing.
Shepherds heard them all proclaim
The birthday of a King.

Wise men saw a blazing star
Up in the sky that night.
They followed it until they found
The King of love and light.

Mary had a little Lamb,
But He wasn’t hers, you know,
He was the very Son of God,
The One who loves us so.

The Father of this little Lamb
Loved the world so much
That He sent his only Son to earth
So we could feel His touch.

He came to give us joy and peace
And take away our sin.
So when He knocks on your heart’s door,
Be sure to let Him in.

Why do I love this precious Lamb?
What can the reason be?
The answer is quite plain to see,
It’s because He first loved me!

My daughter brought this poem home from our church on a sheet of paper -- without attribution. I did a search and only found one reference to it in an online sermon (which can be found here) by David O. Dykes with Discover Life Ministries.

On the road

Blogging will be light or non-existent today as I am traveling back home with my family.

Giving thanks

Today is the day that America sets aside to give thanks for all of the blessings we have been showered with. And, no, we don't deserve them more than anyone else on this planet.

However, we have indeed been blessed, so it is our solemn duty to share these blessings with those who are not as fortunate.

It's a boy!

And he's healthy. And he's due to enter this world in December!

(Sorry bro', but I couldn't help myself . . .)

Home Safe and Sound

We are finally home.

We spent an enjoyable and informative afternoon at the Vicksburg National Battlefield.

But now it is late and we're all tired from the journey. I will attempt to do some quality blogging tomorrow.

Good night . . .

Homeward Bound

"Men are like an ant on top of a tire. When the tire starts moving they know something important is happening, but they have no clue what it is until it's too late . . ." -- Dear Friend

We got a late start today. We are overnighting west of Birmingham, Alabama, and plan to get home tomorrow. We are all more than ready to get home and sleep in our own beds . . .

The vacation has been wonderful. And it is now time to get back home. I guess this whole family are a bunch of homebodies when you get right down to it!

Final Day on Topsail Island

First thing yesterday morning, we bid adieu to my two brothers and their families. Both of our girls were bummed because all of their cousins were leaving. Now my girls have no one near their ages to play/hang with.

It was very windy on the beach, so we ended up hanging around the beach house most of the day. Supper was superb, though. Aunt M made spagetti and meatballs from scratch. Everyone was quite happy about that, because we can then eat meatball sandwiches for lunch the next day. During dinner, my little one leaned over and whispered that she didn't like Aunt M's spagetti as much as what we have at home. I, personally, am proud that she is learning to be tactful -- last year she would have just blurted it out to the world . . .

Our oldest girl spent a considerable amount of the evening on the cell phone talking to her buddies at home. Our youngest spent her time reading. Both girls are bored, and my lovely lady and I have some things that need to be taken care of, so we will probably leave for home tomorrow morning.

We are somewhat reluctant in this decision because we greatly enjoy the company that we are with now, we love being at the beach, and we are anticipating the arrival of my aunt's husband and son-in-law this afternoon sometime. However, sometimes a person just gets a feeling that it is time to move on -- and that is what I am feeling now.

This morning I am sitting on the deck typing this while listening to a symphony of breeze and surf accompanying the songbirds' melody. I reluctantly left my lovely lady in bed asleep, but did not want to awaken her since it was only 6:30. She will arise soon enough, and I hope we take a walk (we have been eating way too much here!).

After talking it over during our walk this morning, my lovely lady and I decided it is probably best that we leave tomorrow morning. We have had a wonderful week here visiting with family and friends, but it is time to return home.

Happy Father's Day

You know who you are.

I just want to wish you a happy Father's Day.

My father is no longer with us, so I'll wish you a happy and pleasurable Father's Day in his stead.

Island Living

Yesterday (Saturday) the dawn was colored in shades of gray -- not only from the cloud cover, but also because my sister, her husband, and their son and daughter were leaving. They had a long road back to Texas, so left before seven. My brother-in-law has to catch a flight this evening, so they stayed here as long as they could.

The whole day was somewhat sad because of the departure of my sister's family, and the imminent departure of both of my brothers and their families (Sunday morning). We all made the best of it, though, and really enjoyed our last day together. One cheerful event was the arrival of my cousin and her infant son.

The clouds cleared out by 2:30, or so, and the water was beautiful in shades of emerald and azure blue. The kids had a blast building sandcastles, skim boarding, and boogey boarding. Body surfing was pretty much out of the question, so I had to content myself with reading and snoozing while working on my suntan (hey, we are on vacation, after all).

Mom and B, my aunt, fixed a great dinner of boiled shrimp and corn on the cob, with a green salad and watermelon. Boy did we stuff ourselves! The daily game of Tripoley followed for most of the adults, while the younger kids watched the Disney Channel and the teenagers watched Jaws in another room.

In the end, we have had a nice reunion with my family. We are going to miss my siblings and their families, but someone has to be here at the beach for a few more days, so we are willing to make that sacrifice . . .

Mystery of the Missing Seagulls

Friday, our third day, started slowly with everyone feeling the need to get on the beach. The surf has really died down -- it's as calm as it usually is on Galveston Island. That is not to say that there is no surf, but a sandbar is close off shore and it is damping what little swells there are, so the waves break very close to shore and are not very big. This is not to say that we did not have fun on the beach -- it just did not involve much body surfing. (Do you get the impression that I enjoy body surfing?)

One thing that we noticed when we first got here was that there seems to be a paucity of seagulls. We have all been theorizing about the why and how of this. Here are some of our ideas:

• The birds have been crowded out by the large numbers of blackbirds that seem to be around.


• The seagulls have been hired as extras on the set of the sequel to Finding Nemo.


• We saw one seagull wondering around on foot in some traffic in Surf City the other day, which led us to theorize that the seagulls were dumber this year, and thus getting themselves killed in traffic.


• Most of the seagulls are on an extended vacation to Selinsgrove, PA.


• They are in hiding.


• The seagulls are boycotting Topsail Island because they think the people of the island are not doing enough to protect the Loggerhead turtles.


• They don't care for the seafood here.


• They all went to see the NBA finals.


• They know something that we don't know about the path and ferocity of the next hurricane.


• They find easier pickings at McDonalds.

Can you tell me what day it is?

Our second day (yesterday) on Topsail Island started with my lovely lady wishing me a good morning. We had talked about greeting the dawn together on the beach, but we overslept by an hour so had to content ourselves with sleepy conversation while we dressed for our morning walk.

After the walk and a shower, we joined the rest of the family for breakfast. Following breakfast, our family beach deployment began. And believe me -- it takes a massive effort to get these 17 people properly attired, applied with sunscreen, equipped with beach chairs - beach umbrellas - beach toys - beach towels - beach etc., marched across the street, over the dune, and onto the beach itself. Fortunately, the adults were not outnumbered very badly (7 kids and 10 adults), and we were able to get all personnel and equipment onto the beach and set up without too much fuss . . .

The rest of the day was one of fun in the sun and general goofing off.

My lovely lady and I had the responsibility for supper last night, and some preparations for dinner were necessary. We decided that the occasion called for Americana all the way, so I grilled out hamburgers, and my lovely lady made the most delicious potato salad. We completed the meal with watermelon and cantaloupe and good company.

The sunset was gorgeous, dinner went well, fun and games ensued . . .

. . . and another day on Topsail drew to a close.

Returning to sanity

The first full day (yesterday) at the beach was peaceful and notable (at least for my family) for the unhurried way that we seemed to do things. (We are very much a Type A family -- especially during the school year.)

I woke up early and lay in bed dividing my time between watching my wonderful wife sleeping, and watching the light change from the monotones of darkness to the warm hues of dawn. Both were absolutely beautiful. After my lovely lady awakened, we went for a nice walk along the beach and started our day.

This vacation was choreographed by my Mom, to whom it has been very important to bring all of her kids and their families together -- especially since Dad died. So we find ourselves together here on Topsail Island. One of Mom's sisters, B, is here also, and we are expecting some dear family friends on Friday.

We are in a nice beach house, the island is wonderfully uncrowded, un-touristy, and un-busy. The kids are all enjoying time with their cousins, and their parents are enjoying visiting and catching up with each others' lives. Our Dad may no longer be with us physically, but his memory is still very much alive.

And the body surfing is exhilerating.

We were presented with some wonderful news by my youngest brother, M, and his bride of 15 months, S. They are expecting a child in December. It will be their first child, and Mom's eighth grandchild. We are so excited about this news! And so are M and S. My youngest daughter, the seventh grandchild, was born seven years ago. She is looking forward to no longer being the youngest.

As I wrote earlier, the dial-up connection is pretty poor, so I am typing this in Notepad and uploading it to my blog when I can get connected. I may actually upload pictures eventually, but probably not until we get home. On the other hand, I saw an internet cafe just a few miles down the island from here . . .

Topsail Island

Topsail Island is a sleepy little barrier island along the southern coast of North Carolina. It got its name from the way pirates used to lay in wait for unsuspecting merchant ships by hiding behind the island with only their top sails showing.

The Marines have Camp Lejeune and the New River Marine Corps Air Base, so military aircraft fly along Topsail Island on a regular basis. So far, I've seen several Sea Kings and two Cobra gunships.

Evidently there is a lot of history around here. Nearby Sneads Ferry hales back to 1775 when a ferry was established on the primary trade route between Wilmington and places north. Local lore also seems to indicate that the notorious pirate, Blackbeard, sailed his pirate fleet into Topsail Inlet in the early 1700s. And there seems to be some evidence that William Teach had roots in this area.

Topsail has a special place in the history of aviation. A top secret missile test site was established on Topsail Island by the U.S. soon after WWII. Operation Bumblebee was the name of the project which prototyped various jet engines and ultimately developed the ram jet engine. Those engines were tested here on Topsail Island.

And I just like it because it is not a crowded, oceanside tourist trap. In fact, it is proving to be a nice place for me to kick back and relax, enjoy surf and sun, and reconnect with my family.

Beach Blanket Bingo

After 2.5 days travelling and spending a good part of yesterday exploring the Great Smoky Mountains, we have arrived at our beach destination in North Carolina.

Time to kick back and relax.

Unfortunately, the internet connection is a sporadic dial-up one, so I may not be able to do much blogging.

I'll keep trying, though.

Cheers . . . !

Vacating Spaces

The time has come for our American Geek vacation. We'll limit the geekiness this year, and emphasize the American aspects. We're going to the beach. And along the way we'll make sure to appreciate some of the beauty of our country.

We are travelling to a beach in North Carolina and, along the way, will be spending a day or so doing some light exploring in the Smoky Mountains.

The laptop will come along, but opportunities for blogging may be sparse.

At any rate, please excuse my light blogging for the next two weeks or so. We have been busting our tails for months now, and it is time to get away, enjoy the company of family and dear friends, and experience once more the calming sound of wind and surf. . .

Ballerinas

Here are our two prima ballerinas! This picture was taken immediately following the dance recital last weekend. The last three weeks have been absolute mayhem as our dancers prepared for the recital. And, you know what? It was well worth it!

Happy Birthday, Dad . . .

Today is my father's 77th birthday. Or it would have been if he had lived this long. Just two months shy of his 75th birthday, Dad's great and loving heart stopped working.

My dad loved peanut butter cups. So we, his family, celebrate his life every 9 May now by eating peanut butter cups in his honor. Please feel free to join us, if you wish.

I miss you, Dad . . .

And God Created Mothers

Happy Mother's Day to my wife, my mom, my mom-in-law. my sister, my sister-in-law, and all the other mothers in this world.

As a son living at home, I appreciated my mom for being my mom -- but I had no idea of the depth of her love or the steadfastness of her commitment to raising me right. It wasn't until I had left home, married, and my wife became a mom that I began to discern how deeply mothers love, how hard mothers work, how intensely mothers give of themselves for their children's sake.

And I am at once awed and humbled by this mystery of motherhood.

My father-in-law emailed the prose in the extended entry to my Lovely Lady yesterday, and I thought I would share it with you. It is credited to Erma Bombeck. And I thought I would reprint it here in honor of our moms.

By the time the Lord made mothers, he was into his sixth day of working overtime.

An Angel appeared and said "Why are you spending so much time on this one"?

And the Lord answered and said, "Have you seen the spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers, have a lap that can hold three children at one time and that disappears when she stands up, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands."

The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. "Six pairs of hands! No Way!", said the Angel.

The Lord replied, "Oh, it's not the hands that are the problem. It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers must have!"

"And that's just on the standard model?" the Angel asked.

The Lord nodded in agreement, "Yep, one pair of eyes are to see through the closed door as she asks her children what they are doing even though she already knows. Another pair in the back of her head, are to see what she needs to know even though no one thinks she can. And the third pair are here in the front of her head. They are for looking at an errant child and saying that she understands and loves him or her without even saying a single word."

The Angel tried to stop the Lord. "This is too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."

"But I can't!" The Lord protested, "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she's sick AND can feed a family of six on a pound of hamburger and can get a nine year old to stand in the shower. "

The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, "But you have made her so soft, Lord."

"She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."

"Will she be able to think?", asked the Angel.

The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate."

The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."

"That's not a leak." The Lord objected. "That's a tear!"

"What's the tear for?" the Angel asked.

The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her disappointment, her pain, her loneliness, her grief, and her pride."

The Angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything; for mothers are truly amazing!"

[by Erma Bombeck]